Clarification

Some people having read parts of this so far may call be a bit hypocritical for some of the things I say (i.e. saying that people who exhibit certain behaviors, such as putting people down to elevate themselves, lack self confidence whilst I seeming am doing that exact same thing by pointing those behaviors out), but I feel like what I am doing is a little bit different. Now maybe I’m just rationalizing, but at least hear me out (or don’t, see if I care. And bam, I’m all self confident-y again).

First off, there is a big difference between being frustrated with people and wanting to talk about it and disparaging them to elevate yourself. While I may be far from perfect, I certainly strive to do the former rather than the latter.

Secondly, I feel as if (and feel free to feel otherwise, they are your feelings after all) there is not a whole lot wrong with venting sometimes. All things considered, I think that is probably a big part of what I am doing here. While you may be able to figure out who I am talking about (especially if that person is you), for the most part I’m not naming names or anything. Sometimes holding in feelings of frustration or anger is the worst thing you can do, as it eats away at you until it spills over and affects everyone around you.

Last, I think having a disapproval of behaviors is certainly different than disapproval of people. While I may not like all of the things everyone does all the time, that’s life, and it doesn’t make me love them or care about them any less.

When I am frustrated by people and their behavior it doesn’t mean I don’t like them any less, I just don’t want to be around them as much, and honestly I don’t feel that bad about it. As I work on being more accepting of people, I may be able to be around them more, but until such a point where I can not be as frustrated around them I choose not to be so that I don’t get resentful and bitter. While it is not ideal, for me this seems to be the better option.

One thing I learned a long time ago was to not let other people’s expectation of my behavior get in the way of my happiness and what I feel is right. That being the case, I do often choose not to associate with certain people for one reason or another. Sometimes that can be the right call; how many times have the leaders of the church counseled us to choose with whom we associate very carefully? Some people can and will drag you down if you let them; and sometimes all it takes is for you to be around them enough.

And maybe, just maybe, someone will read this and have a chance to think about some of the things they do and why they do them. I know I’ve had a lot of self-reflective moments in writing this so far. It’s helped me, and if it helps them, then we all win.